Jordan Carlos

Comedian, Actor and Writer based in New York City, raised in the suburbs of North Dallas

Sex, Drugs, and Gefilte Fish On Sale Now!

Posted on November 20th, 2009 by Jordanclos in Blog | Post a Comment

I added my tale about the first time I witnessed 90s style freak dancing to this chronicle of teenage sorrows. Brought to you courtesy of the good people @ Heeb Magazine.
Such a funny book! Went to a reading of a few sample stories last night in DUMBO and had a blast. OK, maybe because I was a little fractured on PEAR CIDER. I drink it… LIKE A MAN DOES!
Sex, Drugs, And Gefilte Fish

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My Lifestream

  • September 4th

  • twitter (feed #8) What I've been workin on this past week: Comedy Pilot I Just Want My Pants Back‘ Begins Production for MTV in New York: http://bit.ly/awJuBn [#] — 3:48pm via Twitter

  • August 20th

  • twitter (feed #8) Watch my parody vid of those NY Times ads. This 1 is for the NY Post http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDYjWh_dh9E [#] — 3:23pm via Twitter

  • July 24th

  • youtube (feed #11) Shared BA-L-ACK OBAMA — 12:20pm via YouTube

  • July 17th

  • blog (feed #6) Published COLLEGE HUMOR VIDS — 4:49pm via jordancarlos.com My newest College Humor collabos! Enjoy! OBAMAS BBQ NIGHTMARE: Just got covered on...
  • generic (feed #7) Posted NYU — 4:38pm via Shows
  • generic (feed #7) Posted Boston University — 4:38pm via Shows
  • generic (feed #7) Posted Truman State Univ — 4:22pm via Shows
  • generic (feed #7) Posted SUNY - Old Westbury — 4:22pm via Shows

  • July 15th

  • twitter (feed #8) Show tonight @ Luca Lounge 9pm & Free! http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=135164943181363&ref=mf [#] — 9:43pm via Twitter

  • June 2nd

  • twitter (feed #8) Itz official. Ur boy is now a professional screenwriter!! Thanx Woodshed Entertainment and mom of course :) [#] — 8:03pm via Twitter

  • May 10th

  • twitter (feed #8) Does it sound like daddy longlegs spider got its name from the world's only bebop jazz zooligist? [#] — 5:40pm via Twitter

  • May 6th

  • twitter (feed #8) Lawrence Taylor was busted for allegedly "patronizing a prostitute." Lesson learned. Never talk 2 a hooker like she's an idiot. Itz illegal [#] — 10:14pm via Twitter

  • April 28th

  • twitter (feed #8) Marina Abramović is officially the David Blaine of the art world [#] — 12:54am via Twitter

  • April 26th

  • twitter (feed #8) "Sup mezuzah?" Doesn't that sound so gangsta? [#] — 2:49pm via Twitter

  • April 25th

  • twitter (feed #8) best thing 2 come outta the mil/industrial complex = vintage army jackets. They say I'm a warrior but my battlefield is a sweet wine tasting [#] — 3:59pm via Twitter
  • twitter (feed #8) No Homo joke. It builds slow and pays off. Hope u like!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvyTZ-JvFwM [#] — 2:45pm via Twitter

  • April 24th

  • twitter (feed #8) Divorce On The Subway: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIuG_bsk170 [#] — 7:10pm via Twitter
  • youtube (feed #11) Shared NO HOMO.mov — 7:01pm via YouTube
  • youtube (feed #11) Shared DIVORCE ON THE SUBWAY.mov — 6:38pm via YouTube
  • twitter (feed #8) Archie Comics premiers its 1st gay character in Sept. They r a beacon in dark times. Jughead weigh in on immigration so I'll know how 2 feel [#] — 3:43pm via Twitter

  • April 22nd

  • twitter (feed #8) what NOT 2 say 2 cops after running over an old lady in her yard when ur high on oxy: "she was old. 70 years is a long time to live." Nice! [#] — 7:57pm via Twitter

  • April 21st

  • twitter (feed #8) there is no end to Tiger Wood's depravity. Last night he (pause; sigh) partied with Nickelback. [#] — 3:06pm via Twitter

  • April 9th

  • twitter (feed #8) feelin old. My friend said the words "PS 3" and I thought he was talking about a troubled inner-city high school -- where's my hove-around?? [#] — 10:28pm via Twitter

  • April 3rd

  • twitter (feed #8) How bad does the economy have to get so that people will stop lining up to give Steve Jobs $? Mazeltov filling the maw of ur needs w/ apps [#] — 7:33pm via Twitter

  • April 1st

  • twitter (feed #8) Aside from Tony Hawk is there an age when men riding on skateboards becomes super inappropriate? Like ass-in-gravy boat inappropriate. [#] — 6:12pm via Twitter

  • March 31st

  • twitter (feed #8) Dead Marine's dad ordered to pay Fred Phelps protesters' legal fees. Nothing reinforces ur belief in justice like a hot bowl o seriously WTF [#] — 6:58pm via Twitter

  • March 29th

  • twitter (feed #8) Ur only allowed to b a rain rebel if ur actually in H Kong avenging ur bro's death or in a romcom kissing a girl from the rich side of town [#] — 6:42pm via Twitter
  • twitter (feed #8) Luv rain rebels -- i.e. peeps who won't wear a hood like they're in some hong kong action flick where they're avenging their brother's death [#] — 6:33pm via Twitter
  • twitter (feed #8) (Sigh)...In NYC the bigger the umbrella, the bigger the douche. [#] — 6:23pm via Twitter
  • twitter (feed #8) Head of RNC blows 2K on bottles & models on the party dime. That's family values for u... if your family is the Hefners. [#] — 6:17pm via Twitter
  • twitter (feed #8) Sad. Got to see Wimpy perform once. Funny dude: http://gothamist.com/2010/03/29/rip_improv_everywheres_most_senior.php [#] — 5:59pm via Twitter

  • March 28th

  • twitter (feed #8) Self-effacing Zeus: "Uh when you get a chance, if you could be so kind as to release the Kraken, that would be awesome! SUCH a big help." [#] — 7:41pm via Twitter

  • March 27th

  • twitter (feed #8) R Kells still isn't love-sated -- STILL! He yodels in this one: http://www.twitvid.com/C3523 [#] — 6:27am via Twitter
  • twitter (feed #8) call me when they reveal Jesse James slept with a dude. Promise I will pay attention then. Hook me news machine! [#] — 6:14am via Twitter
  • twitter (feed #8) what kind of porn do hipsters watch? Cuz I'm pretty sure it's "mumblecore" [#] — 3:34am via Twitter

  • March 26th

  • twitter (feed #8) The Hills is CANCELLED?! How will I know what to buy or how to feel? uh racism much?? [#] — 3:25pm via Twitter

  • March 25th

  • twitter (feed #8) PLUG: On Mercy last night. If you didn't get to watch you can always see me here: http://www.hulu.com/watch/136828/mercy-of-course-im-not [#] — 4:54pm via Twitter

  • March 24th

  • twitter (feed #8) NYC builds jail themed playground in Bed Stuy. Sigh... hold for laugh http://gothamist.com/2010/03/24/jail.php [#] — 6:51pm via Twitter

  • March 23rd

  • twitter (feed #8) on facebook they should have an option that acknowledges that you like that someone likes your status. That says "I like that you like that" [#] — 7:06pm via Twitter
  • twitter (feed #8) Trying to watch a news vid on cnn.com re: healthcare but had to sit thru an ad 1st. so cnn thinks news re: hove-around trumps healthcare [#] — 6:31pm via Twitter

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